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Why You Can’t Relax During a Massage And How To Let Go

Many people find it hard to relax during a massage due to feeling self-conscious.
Many people find it hard to relax during a massage due to feeling self-conscious. Photo by Engin Akyurt

If you find it hard to relax during a massage, you’re not alone. While massages are meant to reduce stress and tension, many people struggle to fully unwind. Whether it’s a busy mind, physical discomfort, or feeling self-conscious, learning how to relax during a massage can make a huge difference in your overall experience.


Why Is It Hard to Relax During a Massage?

Before diving into solutions, it helps to understand the problem. Common reasons people can’t relax during a massage include:


  • Overthinking or mental distractions

  • Sensitivity to pressure or unfamiliar touch

  • Feeling rushed or anxious

  • Not knowing what to expect

  • Feeling vulnerable


The key is to approach relaxation as a gradual process, not something you have to get perfect right away.


8 Tips on how to Relax During a Massage


1. Stop Trying to “Do It Right”

One of the most common mistakes is putting pressure on yourself to relax. This creates the opposite effect. There’s no perfect way to experience a massage, just allow your body to respond naturally.


2. Focus on Deep Breathing

Breathing deeply is one of the fastest ways to relax during a massage. Try inhaling slowly through your nose and exhaling longer through your mouth. This helps calm your nervous system and release muscle tension.


3. Communicate With Your Massage Therapist

If something doesn’t feel right, whether it’s pressure, temperature, or positioning, speak up. Feeling comfortable and in control is essential for relaxation.


4. Stay Present in Your Body

Instead of letting your mind wander to your to-do list, focus on physical sensations. Notice the therapist’s movements, the pressure, and how your muscles respond.


5. Let Your Thoughts Come and Go

You don’t need to empty your mind completely. If thoughts pop up, acknowledge them and gently bring your focus back to your breath or body.


6. Release Tension Intentionally

If you notice tight areas like your jaw, shoulders, or hands, consciously relax them. A helpful trick is to imagine your body sinking into the table with each exhale.


7. Expect Some Discomfort

Certain areas may feel tender, especially if you have built-up tension. Instead of resisting, breathe through it. This can actually help your muscles release more effectively.


8. Take Time to Recover Afterward

Give yourself a few minutes after your massage before jumping back into your routine. Drink water, move slowly, and let your body fully absorb the benefits.


Final Thoughts: Relaxation Takes Practice

If you’ve ever wondered how to relax during a massage, remember that it’s a skill that improves over time. The more you allow yourself to be present and let go of expectations, the easier it becomes to fully enjoy the experience.


With the right mindset and a few simple techniques, your next massage can go from mildly relaxing to deeply restorative.  Serenity Garden Massage and Tans, owned by Danielle Genter-Ray, offers over 15 years of experience and professional massage services on Mount Desert Island, Maine, serving Bar Harbor, Northeast Harbor, Somesville, Acadia National Park, and surrounding areas.


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